Dear Mom and Dad

When I’m fragile and small,
I needed your warmth, your comfort, your love,
When I reach out my little hands,
I wished I could felt yours from above.

When I did everything for the first time,
My first word, my first walk, my first climb,
I prayed that you were there to guide me in each step,
Instead of telling me it’s ok to fall,
You punished me for not being perfect.

I grew up telling myself that somehow, you loved me,
That you always wanted the best for me,
And that you have given me the best you can be,
But each time I needed you, I lost you,
You couldn’t hear my voice calling out to you.

Why am I so dumb, why am I so stupid?
These are the questions you always asked me,
I really do not have the answers, so please forgive me.

I really wished I could get to know you better,
And hope you are someone great, if I dig deeper,
Instead of earning my trust,
You waste your time fighting with mom,
Now you have lost both of us,
We are still here, but our hearts are not.

I am still happy that I have both of you,
But I am so afraid to lose you two,
In your eyes, I can’t see love,
I can only see despair, I can only see hurt.

Are the both of you still in love?
Or just together because of me?
Am I the burden that entraps you?
From chasing another dream.

I really wished I could believe in your love,
But mom, your sad face and the loneliness in your eyes,
Tells me this is not love, it is just a lie,
And dad, I wished you could treat mom better,
Instead of making her feel that you shouldn’t be together.

So as the both of you continue to pretend,
Like everything is ok, everything is fine,
You two stage a perfect story, you create your lines,
Being actors of your own life,
I feel suffocated, I see through your acts,
I really don’t know what to expect next.