After really feeling good about my performance last month, i looked forward to my confirmation early this month. I was beaming with excitement for my confirmation as i have been anxious and truly anticipating it since i joined in February this year. But just as luck would have it, my company is suddenly thrown into a period of uncertainty. They were offering VSS (Voluntary Separation Scheme) to employees to cut head count. Suddenly, i was informed that my confirmation would be put on hold temporary as they will not be confirming anyone at this point till they have finish with the head count cut. My heart broke into a million pieces. Suddenly all i did wasn't worth it. All the effort that i had put in last month had nothing to show for it. My heart fell. But i told myself, probably after the retrenchment, things will be better. They can't confirm me now...but probably later on.
Then 3 days ago, the total unexpected happened. Out of no where...my boss throw me a letter. A letter to tell me not only i can't be confirmed, my probation period has been extended for another 3 months. I didn't know what to say as this really came out as a total surprise to me. I had not gotten any signs from my boss or the company that they were going in this direction. I didn't get any hints from them that my performance was bad. Suddenly, all sorts of nasty words came out from the mouth of the management. I remembered last month, during the performance evaluation...my boss told me all things nice about my performance.
That i'm a hardworking girl, i go all way out to get sales from my customers no matter how far away they are and that i am intelligent, smart and really good at presentations. Then suddenly, i'm thrown in the dark. Suddenly...everything that i have done has been turned into negative reviews. All my good things had been forgotten and my boss started to picked on the little things on why i'm so bad and that i'm not performing. Suddenly i have become the worst performer in her eyes.
Eventhough they extend my probation for another 3 months and it looks like i have 3 months to really perform and prove them wrong, they have set criterias that more or less showing me i can't make it obviously.
Criteria ONE: I have to achieve 110% of my target for the next 3 months.
Criteria TWO: I need to get 6 purchasing new customers for the next quarter.
Criteria THREE: I have to come in office everyday and even after work after my fieldwork which is impossible since my territories are really far and sometimes outstation too.
Criteria FOUR: If i can't achieve all the said criterias, i will be gone after this three months and no extension of probation allowed either.
The company really leave me with no choice. I felt as though i am forced to leave. They can tell me all sorts of nice things and nasty things...that they are not forcing me to leave...and i can still try my best for this 3 months..but forcing me indirectly like this...its all so clear of their real intentions.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
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.....i know you're feeling sad right now..even so you do not fully express that sadness in front of your friends...because being you..you put others ahead of you...because you do not want to worry them..
Ask yourself this " Have i done my best?"
Only answer this to yourself for if you know you have done your best...guilt is the last thing you should be feeling..
Your vision is so clouded by the comments of your managers that you have fail to see the light ahead...
Hey girl..take a look at the bright side..things is not yet finalise...hope is still there...plus so many company out there are having vacant post for their Reps...with your capabilities (oh trust me..you've really got it..detailing skills being the one thing i admire the most! :P i say oso pai seh le...so sad no one have ever given good comment bout my detailing) but with you...even during your interview ur manager is so impress at your skill...imagine how much it have grown now..!
Hardwork and dedication is the only two thing u have to answer to any employer out there...believe me that is your strongest attribute..
Cheer up ok...do not limit your sweetness with the sadness hiding behind it..you'll dissapoint a lot of guys in your company ok...hehe
-Always there for you..
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